It Can Never Be
by dingyou
Summary: A bespectacled boy is in love with the scarred shooting guard, only to find out that his dearest is in love with someone else.


TITLE: IT CAN NEVER BE

AUTHOR: dingyou

DISCLAIMER: Slam Dunk is not mine. *sniffs* It belongs to Takehiko Inoue. Kaede, Kiminobu and Hisashi are my koi, though. *grins*

RATING: NC-17 (just in case)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: A songfic mainly based in the song "Teardrops On My Guitar" by Taylor Swift. It's yaoi, male-male relationship. Consider yourself warned. Strictly no flames. Reviews and constructive criticisms would be appreciated! It's my first fic so please be gentle. ^-^

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Ding: *sniffs* My very first fanfic! And it's SD yaoi! I can't believe it!

Mitsui, Kogure, Rukawa and Miyagi: *claps, claps*

Ding: *blushes* There may be some mistakes but I hope it's enough.

Kogure: Omedetou, Ding-chan. We'll be expecting more from you, ne?

Ding: Mochiron! Now, let's get one with the fic!

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IT CAN NEVER BE

-

_Drew looks at me__  
I fake a smile so he won't see  
That I want and I needed everything that we should be_

_-_

"Sensei... I- I want to play basketball again..."

My happiness was immeasurable, that day when you so sincerely uttered those words to Anzai-sensei. Sure you slapped me in the face, you pushed me hard that I toppled on the floor, you dirtied the gym which we cleaned with so much hard work, you almost got the whole team suspended and you and your gang inflicted so much pain not only to the then-begging Miyagi but also to Sakuragi, Rukawa and the rest of the innocent members of the team. But all of those traumatic scenes seemed to fade away the moment you asked Anzai-sensei to accept you again in the team. No, it's not over for you.

It was never over for you.

Our friendship was never better, after that fateful day. We'd stay after practice and just talk about life for an hour or two. You'd tell me about your regrets and dreams, your fears and hopes. You regretted that you wasted your two years over vices and violence, you dreamed that you'd make it up to Anzai-sensei and that one day, you'll lead Shohoku to victory. You feared about being rejected because of your past actions, you hoped that you can be able to start again, with someone who can be able to help you forget the past.

It's nice to hear all your hopes and dreams. They were like music to my ears. I saw how your eyes burned with determination as you said those words. I always knew that you're one determined person that's why I never had a doubt that one day, those hopes and dreams that you said will come true.

And they did.

-

_I bet she's beautiful, that girl she talks about  
And she's got everything that I had to live without_

_-  
_

"What happened? Why are they all screaming? Did Rukawa make it?"

"Yeah, he did. It was a nice shot."

"I knew it."

"Just leave it to me now."

It all started there, right? It all started when you made that beautiful pass to that small forward during our match against Shoyo. Since then, you'd talk about how he's too talented for a first year, how he got all the 25 points which made Shohoku catch up to Kainan, how he got past Sendoh during our match with Ryonan and how, one day, he's going to be Japan's ace.

You can never talk about me the way you talk about him, can you? I'm not talented. In fact, I doubt if I was really born for basketball. I barely get 10 points during a match and I don't have the speed to steal the ball the way Rukawa does. I'm just another guy with spectacles. This all the more dampened my spirit. Well, that's too bad. You see, I have learned to care about you more than I have ever cared for myself. I've learned to worry about you when your okaa-san calls late at night and asks me for your whereabouts or when you get labored breathes due to lack of stamina or when you cut your lips or bruise your arm while rushing after the ball. I've learned to love the sound of your voice calling my name, learned to become weak every time you look into my eyes.

I've learned to care about you, worry about you.

Learned to need you.

Learned to love you.

-

_Drew talks to me  
I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny  
That can't even see anyone when he's with me._

_-  
_

"This is our last summer together, Mitsui."

"Yeah and to think I haven't made it up to you guys yet."

"I think you really shouldn't worry about that anymore. You have done enough. Especially for the team."

"Well, we still need to be prepared for the finals, though. It isn't the end yet."

"No, it definitely is not. We stand a good chance against other teams. That, I'm certain. I mean, why not? You guys are the best."

"**WE'RE** the best is more like it."

I smiled. And there it goes again, that burning determination in your eyes. Amazing that it was never lost, all these years. Yet beneath all that fire is the look of sadness. And I completely understand. Even the most fearless person in this world has the desire to be loved, the desire to be cherished, the desire to be needed and wanted.

I can give you more than that, Mitsui, if you'll just let me.

-

_He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right.  
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night._

_-  
_

"Mmmph... se... sempai... not here."

"Why not? Everyone's gone home..."

"Sempai... I..."

"Rukawa... don't you feel it? I need... you. I... want you. God, I want you so bad..."

"O-Ore mo... sempai..."

And Rukawa submitted to him.

Rukawa must've stirred his emotions after he challenged him on a one-on-one match. It was 3-2, with Mitsui having delivered his ever beautiful 3 point shot. Miyagi refused to consider him as the winner because apparently and for him, Mitsui cheated.

The lockers rustled with their every move. Their gazes locked, arms encircling each other, limbs entwined on their waists. Rukawa let out a soft moan while Mitsui nibbled his left earlobe. Then the older boy let out a smirk as Rukawa's moan got louder while he had his tongue trail a path down to the younger boy's tight abs. Rukawa arched inwardly, arms tightly on Mitsui's back. He tugged Mitsui closer to him and felt his growing erection on his thigh. Mitsui let out a startled gasp when Rukawa grabbed his already hardening length, rubbing it tightly but gently. Mitsui tilted his head back, unable to suppress his need any longer.

"Rukawa... unnnh... onegai..."

"Sempai..."

The lockers rustled even louder. And before I knew it, a series of moans, groans and whimpers filled my ears. The moans and the groans got loader, faster.

Until such time that I heard them both cry each other's names almost at the same time.

Then all went silent. And breathing. Labored breathing.

I leaned against the wall, outside of the room where it all just happened. The boy that I really cared for, the boy that I have known for years.

The boy that I loved just gave his entire soul to someone else.

"Ai shitte iru, Kaede."

"Ore mo, Hisashi."

Tears trickled down my cheeks upon hearing those uttered words. Yes, he loves Rukawa. And Rukawa loves him too. It hurts to know that the one you love loves someone else. But deep inside, I felt contented. Contented that Rukawa has reciprocated his feelings, contented that the love that he's seeking, he finally found, contented that at last, Mitsui's whole again.

-

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.  
He's the song in a car I keep singing don't know why I do._

_So I drive home alone And as I turn out the light I put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight._

_-  
_

"Kogure?"

"Hn?"

"Do you really have to study in California?"

"What kind of a question is that, Mitsui? Of course I have to study..."

"I know that. But why in California? I mean, why that far? There are a lot of great universities here in Japan. But why California?"

I let out a sigh. "I thought Akagi has told you that we both got a scholarship in California State University. Education is said to be good in that university. Plus I'd get to see NBA live."

"But you'll visit us here, ne?"

"We'll see. After all, it's a good chance to forget..."

"Nani? To forget what?"

"Haha. N-nan demo nai. Iku, Mitsui. We don't want to be late for Anzai-sensei's birthday party."

"Hai. Ikuzo."

-

_To forget what?_

_No, definitely not to forget you._

_But to forget a love that can never be..._

-

~~owari~~

-

Kogure: *sniffs*

Ding: Oi, Kiminobu-kun? Doushitano?

Mitsui: *sniffs*

Ding: H-hisashi... what...

Rukawa: ...

Ding: *turns to Rukawa* No, not you too, Kaede. *looks around* Just what is happening around here? Is it that bad?

Kogure: Iya, Ding-chan. It's just that... anou...

Ding: Nan da, Kiminobu?

Kogure: You gave Hisashi to someone else... *eyes Rukawa*

Mitsui: ...

Rukawa: ...

Ding: *pats her Kimi on the cheek* Don't worry, my dear. Who knows? This may lead to a sequel and you might be lucky on it. *winks*

-

_~Ding, May 02, 2009~_


End file.
